Silence me? Yeah, sure.
“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone” - Alan Watts
2017: Suffocated, used, silenced, weight gain, therapy, anxiety, loss, oppressive, alone, insomnia
Yep. Fuck that!
It was time to take a stand. It was time to regain a bit of control and a lot of fucking self respect. It is amazing, when you are low, tired, and mentally exhausted how quickly your self respect goes. You act like a limp gazelle, trotting around in front of egotistical and shallow minded pack animals - ready to to use and abuse you because your eyes aren’t on the prize for all of one minute.
Well, no more.
I look back at her. Ellen c.2017 and I could fucking bollock her. She let herself get used, and ultimately lost her voice. Don’t ever let yourself do that again.
The only way i could see to fix the problem was to walk away and discover my own story again.So on January 1st I did just that. I unplugged and walked away from selfies, social media and general life shit. I deleted the messages, I cancelled the meetings and I deleted the website.
I threw out all the junk food. I filled bin bags. I walked for miles. I visited friends without documenting it on my phone. I lived with my eyes open, and I focused.
I focused on what, and who, I wanted to be - and on nobody else. Some people might say selfish. But i have experienced selfish individuals and I am unsure if my “soul sbbataical” was quite that. For a few months, i just stopped my world from spinning quite so fast.
And now, i am back. And I will never ever be silenced again. Actually quite the opposite is going to happen.
This site will no longer be a place for cocktail reviews.
This will be a place for
Women in Business - ladies, take your seat at the table.
“Power to my pussy and all that stands in its way.”
I made a promise. No longer will i be sexually objectified, be afraid of the body I am in, be pushed around or talked over. I will run my mind, body, soul and business the way i want to do it.
I am a motherfucking woman. And I am here to stay.